Tuesday, January 31, 2006

im sorry xuanya
sorry i got no mood to talk to you
im really sorry
sorry i got no mood now
don't know why
im really useless la
maybe not because i got no time to think
maybe its because i just don't wanna think about it
maybe i just kept avoiding haiyer i don't know why
i don't wanna think about you
but i really can't
i can't control it
love had over controlled me
i want it all or nothing at all
my friends told me...
'if i love her, i should set her free
but if she comes back, she is mine'
from the bottom of my heart
simply i just can't let you go
no matter what
you will be loved

TODAY!!!
woke up at 11.30am can
SO EARLY LA?!?
im still sick la
my voice totally changed
my cousins reach my house at 1 plus la
then the adults always manjonging one la
then we teenagers will played manjong on the floor
another set of manjong la
haiyer always adults la
then jonathon is getting cuter each day la
today he wore like shaolin master la
WOW so cute lol
then henry wore very handsome type la
they two very small and cute la
haiyer they kept jumping on my bed!!!
IRRTATING...but cute!!!lol
always fighting for the computer haha
then we played games in the computer
PIKACHU VOLLEYBALL??
haha its very fun you know
you will get very enthu la
the keyboard almost spoil la
hen we went downstairs to play sparkles
and kick soccer haha
SO FUN!!!
play until sweaty la
then we played concentration game too
jonathon very the active la
run here and there like superman la
lol then went up to my house
they took a shower la
haha henry wore RED underwhere la
lol no comments is to be given anymore
SHH...haha
good times passed very fast la
my uncles and aunties went home la
then left one uncle and aunty in my house la
then the adults played manjong AGAIN!!!
then we so called as teengers played computer again lo
I KEPT WINNING HAHA
im pro la
benjamin very good at it also la
anyone can help??
im still sick la
maybe i can't go pe and bball training tmr
depends on my parents la
anyway i don't feel like going to school tmr
ya because of...
haiz don't wanna talk about it la
but i also don't want to miss lessons leh
ah ya i don't know la
happy moments really pass very fast
the time for me to think also pass very fast
im seriously not ready for everything
audrey ah...
YOU WATCH OUT!!!
puiyee thanks
im okay
don't worry la
im just not ready for everything that is gonna happen
i seriously don't wanna go to school
i still dunno what i should do
happy moments really pass very fast
the time for me to think also pass very fast
but i haven't come to conclusion yet
i just think im useless la
i never do things right
i just kept dragging and avoiding the problems
i don't wanna you to suffer with me
don't suffer because of me
its not worth it la
just don't care about me la
follow me will only be HOPELESS
i think alot of stuffs today
i seriously tried to be happy
but sorry i can't
once i think about you
things will go wrong and never be done
i dunno am i doing the right thing??
im isolating everything
haiya JUST HATE ME LA
sorry i really miss you
sorry i really love you

today is a busier day for me la
busier than yesterday la
i woke up at 12.30pm lol
my fever haven't go down yet
i got flu also
my voice had changed la
cause i got sore throat
omg omg
im gonna get cough le
ITS SO SUFFERING LA
i wore a billabong shirt and a jacket
and jeans haha
imagine how i look like??haha
i went to my third uncle house
quite alot of people there la
my aunty was not there la
and main topic in the house is...
ME AGAIN LA
whatever i look like boy or whatever la
or im gonna be lesbian??lol nonsense la
haha or whatever grow long hair la
alamak really very nonsense la
then chat alot of things la
poor thing la benjamin kana questioned la
henry's computer games is very childish la
even benjamin dunno how to play la
ah ya can't blame him la
he is still a child la
then went to my grandma's house
my grandma toot toot one la
asked my mummy whether im a girl or boy la
then my mummy said girl
then my grandma started laughing
haiyo haha
benjamin followed also la
quite a few people only la
cause yesterday they came
bobby is still vry childish when he is sec 1 already la
stephanie very violent haha
we went to downstairs playground la
we played catching la lol
then play bomb bags
then play sparkles
its very fun you know
so funny also
when they are in the lift
i just throw a bomb bag
and they all are BOMBED haha
then we went to play manjong
i dunno that this life childish are very smart la
so fast know how to play le la
haha i won one time lol
donaven is getting cuter each day
then went to my fourth uncle house
wanna play manjong
but no mood la
cause my aunty was not there la
all else very fun and funny de
then played counter strike haha
jonathon and henry kept fighting for the laptop la
so cute!!!
then went to chat with the maid...
then chat with the family la
and topic is...ME AGAIN
my uncle wanna buy me shirts
then i said polo shirt
then he said girl one ah
then i said boy one la
haha so funny can
girl one is short sleeve one la
so ugly...
lol my aunty gave my chewing gums haha
okay waimun i know what is 'ranarok'
is it spelt like that??
ah ya whatever la
i know it is a computer game la
no time to watch movie la
puiyee's blog is done!!!
TOMORROW
my cousins coming to my house
yea yea yea
gonna be fun!!!
im okay la
don't worry la
i hope i will be well before school reopen la
haha don't want la
the night is still early la
im tired but not sleepy la
if you never smile i won't smile too

today i woke up damn late la haha
cause yesterday midnight chat with xuanya
until 3am plus
i woke up at 10.30am la
then left my house at 1.30pm la haha
went to my uncle house
quite alot of people there la
my fourth uncle haven't reach yet la
the topic of the day in my uncle house is
me ah...BOY BOY AH??
haha my uncle asked me go check up la
see whether im a girl or a boy la
nonsense la
had seafood steamboat lunch
my uncles and aunties very funny la
they got alot of jokes la
very funny de
im sick la
and is SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY very sick la
i got sore throat in the morning
then went to my uncle house i got flu
then my fourth uncle reach le
i got HIGH fever
then follow on i got headache
its very very suffering you know
i kept sneezing and touching my forehead la
then im very sick until i take a nap first la
i wanna play manjong de
but too sick le la
im still sick now la
high fever la...haiz...
tmr is a long day again
i hope my sickness can finish asap
my cousins are all taller then me la
im short la
benjamin is sec 2 la
but his height is 163cm
when im only 157cm la...
jingquan is very tall and muscular and handsome la lol
then had dinner also
wanna go watch movie but 9.30pm is fully booked
so i booked 12am de
gonna watch i not stupid TOO haha
means i going later la
chating with puiyee now la
she kept asking for angbaos la
irrtating haha
thanks for msging me today
i can from sick until fully recover la
thinking of you now and then
really gonna make me recover yupps
i kept thinking of the problem
and i still dunno what to do
i think the problem is the main reason
for my sickness la
i will try to be happy
cause i don't wanna see you unhappy with me
and that is because i love you

don't worry about me
whatever happen in the past
its in the past already
its the history le
don't ever talk about the past
don't ask me silly questions also haha
i never know how you feel
im sorry
i will never break your heart
i will never make you cry
pls promise me that you won't push
me to her anymore k
cause its hurtful to me
whatever happens last year
its the past
its the history
i have to fake a smile and laughter
i really have to
cause i don't wanna affect my friends
just because of my mood
i will never give you up also
cause its very suffering to let you go
i will be there for you too
and i promise you that
baby i love you
and i'll never let you go
and i promise you
you will never be replaced

yesterday...
its a bad day again
don't wanna talk about it
today...
i think im lucky la
i dunno y
i did spring cleaning can
tsk tsk tsk
so dusty la
got flu la
went for reunion dinner
at dunno what stupid restaurant la
haiz my stupid sister ah
haiyer don't wanna talk about it la
its funny la
laugh here and there la
i had BANANA SPLIT ICE CREAM!!!
its nice but i don't eat the cherries on it la
qwen...
don't worry la
i won't tease you anymore la haha
i won't tell anyone also la
im not annoying okay lol
when i heard it
im shocked la
be sure of your feelings k haha
don't think too much la
i will help you one la
puiyoong...
so romantic la
i almost cry haha
don't worry la
she will appreciate you one day la
im really touched that the cuts
on your hand is about me
but can i beg you
don't be so flirt
people around you are suffering
SHE because of you
never get into main 12
and she willing to give up
on herself than you
im really touched by her love for you
she love you a lot
please treasure her
when you are with your ex stead
did you even know that
she is still waiting for you??
she just kept quiet and suffer
i know that her heart really aches a lot
please don't play with her feelings
please treasure her
cause she willing to give up everything
just because of you
you...
please don't anyhow think can
i know you are stress and confuse too
don't give up on me please
she don't give me happiness or whatever
cause i just can't...feel her love for me
maybe her love is too deep for me
i tried accepting her but sorry i can't
i can't accept her and at the same time
thinking of you
don't be perfect because of me
no one is perfect in this world
i tried hating you
but i can't seriously i can't
its not the end of us
i won't let it happen
i don't wanna it to happen either
cause i really scared to lose you
you will never see the real me
i really have to fake laughters and smiles
to everyone in school
you never ever gave me bad memories before
whatever you left for me is beautiful
and i always kept it in my heart
im really just rubbish
i can't do things right
i can't make decision
i just only know how to make everyone suffer
just because of me
i really hate myself
you didn't let me left
my soul is always by your side
if you could feel it
im the useless one
im the stupid idiot la
i won't give up the fight
i will fight until i knew the answer
im still finding the answer to everything
that have happen
don't ever cut for me
is not worth it
it seriously is not
i tried to avoid you
but i dunno why this few days
you just kept appearing infront of my face
the image of you in my mind every second
just kept appearing
the new year ahead...
im just unahppy
the real and natural smiles and laughters
have lost long ago
i just have to fake it everyday
but if its because of you
its worth it
the same old problem just kept reminding
me that after the new year
i will still have to face it
i just can't run away or avoid it
i have to face the reality
but just because of you
i willing to give up everything
i love you

today very tired la
im always tired la
amanda didnt join me and qianru to school la
she and her stupid reasons la haha
something happen in the morning at netball court
i dunno what happen la
morning assembly...attire check...
im gonna have detention le lo
im just too lazy to sew my belt higher la
YEA QWEN BROUGHT CHIPS TODAY!!!
emaths...
eating chips in class la
msging also la
poa...
eating chips and candies la
writing letters also
chatting with liling also la
social studies...
watching video in cyber
the room is quite cold and is dark
its the best place for me to sleep la
so i slept...
biology...
ms lim is getting very FIERCE le lol
always shouting here and there
irritating la
recess...
amanda pek chek la
ask her y...
she reply 'i dunno y i pek chek leh'
weird la i think she having moodswing la
f&n...
mdm lim gonna have no voice le
screaming here and there
and her pronouncation for words is getting funny la
so funny lol
practical...
PIZZA!!!
lol partner qwen la
i took all the cheese and most of the meat
she only took the vegetables la
haha so poor thing
TANYA IS VERY HEAVY YOU KNOW...
i piggybag her i can die ah
she should be the one to piggybag me la
haha qwen lost her pizza
so sad...she suppose to make it for yimei la
haiyer so sad la
but who on earth want her pizza that is not nice at all lol
that person must be stupid la
house practise...
SOCCER!!! MY FAVOURITE!!!
wa liao everyone was desperate for the soccer ball la
I AGREE THAT GIRLS REALLY DUNNO
HOW TO KICK A BALL LA
i was trying to get a ball
and i happen to hug it
then everyone was like kicking me la
wth so funny la
then no foul at all la
if im the referre...everyone red card ah
haha then draw on a game...
we have to kick panalty la
lol my ball when in the goal la
haha then is dasiree kicked in one too
and we are the champion for soccer lol
i love to play soccer la
cause that is the moment when i
don't have to think about problems
and don't worry be happy
my 'funky' motto??
SHIT SHIT SHIT i forgot to see mr chandran again
actually is no time la
the f&n practical made me have to stay back
cause my pizza is not cook yet
then still got house practise haiz very busy la
after house practise...
waimun is mad...
me, amanda and waicheng wanna go tiong
then was very confused whether to take a cab or a bus
when we were almost to get a cab
the 195 bus came la lol
yea samantha in the bus
dunno what 'BLINK BLINK WINK WINK OH...' la
crazy la
then chat with mabel la lol
went tiong mac eat french fries nice nice(:
saw wanling and her sister(SS)
i didnt know that tiong got SO MANY people there ah
or else i won't go la
haiz something happen again...
i really si bei sian le can...
i was very stress and pek chek at that time la
but yea never showed it out la
or else i would have just walk away
yea then went home with amanda
we went to lot 1 to buy file
amanda needs a bigger file lol
and there is this file big but ugly
another one is nice but small
and guess what amanda choose...
nice and small lol
then her dad fetched us from lot 1
i reconginsed her dad's car and she don't la
yup then was just very pek chek la
is always the same problem
i don't know how to solve i really don't know
im confused
im sorry lynn
its all my fault la
i shouldn't have pulled you in the problem
its okay that you can't help la
but i will just help myself
i seriously dunno what you are thinking
i really don't wanna see you
why are you always down there
i really can't do what you told me to
just give up...treasure the people around you
they suffered a lot because of you
im sorry that i hurt you
stop doing things that attracts me
i really dunno what am i going to do next
im sorry
everyone is treating me like rubbish now
i seriously is
i hope i am too
why are you kept pushing me here and there
i really hate it...
im just an idiot la
don't ever push me to her
just stop pushing here and there can
can you understand how i feel nort
NO ONE not even you
everyone just tell me what to do
and i did it blindly
why no one just understand how i feel now
why?!?
i seriously wanna give up on everything
and leave the place which is full of sorrow
why you just don't understand??
i did everything is because of you
and you just kept pushing me to her
anyway just forget it
im gonna shut myself off all the things
i seriously will
i hate you...
i love you

today im really very tired lo
early in the morning slept in qianru dad car la
im so damn tired la
don't feel like going to school
but promised people le la
chinese...
liling was sleeping la
im writing letter lo
social studies...
MS VINO LESSON IS SO DAMN BORED LA
can just sleep la
english...
i wasn't listening at all la
is group work la
my group members are krystal charmaine and liling lo
krystal she good la
never come to school
charmaine was sick la
she got headache and flu lo
so poor thing
haiz liling was always sms in class la
pe...
ran down and up the hill...
HAHA XUEWEN FELL DOWN
SO EMBARRASSING LA LOL
laugh until i siao la
haiz freezebee AGAIN!!! SO BORED!!!
recess...
nothing much la
everyone got no mood to play basketball la
me also no mood la
dunno why la
maybe cause something happen yesterday la
pc...
ARGH...checking attire
haha i avoid mdm lim la
cause my belt is quite low la
HAHA QWEN IS SO DAMN FUNNY LA...
SHE PUT HER BELT DAMN HIGH...
BUTTON UP...
CHANGE TO CENTER PARTING HAHA
SO DAMN CUTE LA
but weird...
maybe cause im not use to it la
chemistry...
sihui kept pinching my cheeks
and she said my cheeks are nice to pinch??
then i was like later pimple grow on my cheeks how??
haha...
hey qwen are you okay??
don't think too much la k
VERY BORED AH!!!
then i was closing my eyes la
then ms pee shouted basketballer need to wash face nort
then khaliesah laughed la
i was like no need la lol
haiz do what stupid practical
make us have to stay back la
then i wanna go tiong with elaine and tanya
but amanda and jia bao angry la
cause i promised them go town with them
then i went to bus stop wait for them
alex and wanling accompanied me lol thanks
OMG OMG
IM SUPPOSE TO SEE MR CHANDRAN
AFTER SCHOOL AT THE DNT LAB LA
haiz then i ran back up to the dnt lab
but mr chandran not there la
so i contact him
he was at a meeting la
he said tmr after school then chat with him la
haiz chat about the same old thing haiyer
haiz then went to town with amanda jiabao and qianru
kim suppose to join us but the cab
can only filled with four people plus the driver la
FINE I SAT AT THE FRONT
haha chat a lot of crap la
then amanda paid the taxi fare...thanks
then went to buy bag for someone birthday tmr la
ITS GREEN haha lol
conell works there la
one hour $5 haha
then went to take neoprint
WE WERE VERY SCANDALOUS AND RETARDED!!!
then have to rush back to tiong to chat with lynn la
then reached there...full of crap from carmen again la
liling ah...purple shirt don't suit you lol
EWW...WANLING AH...
IM GONNA GET SORE EYES TMR!!!
then liling asked me to wait for her
as she needs to fetch someone
lynn just go home like that la
then me and wanling go walk walk
chat alot of things
then went back to macs
they reach there le
i accompanied wanling to wait for her sister la
cause she accompanied me what lol
haiz so tired la
rush here and there...
was thinking a lot of stuffs on the way home la
what happen last year is in the past le
its won't happen if we trust each other
it will never be the end for us
NEVER!!!
i will never let it happen to us
i never give up on you before
or even last year
please don't give up on me
the eight letters, three words...
one meaning-is always for you
or even last year...
you gave me happy memories last year...
so don't have to felt guilty
go with what your feelings says
don't care what other people thinks
she is a good one...so??
even i be with her...
i will never be happy
cause she is not the one i love
the one and only one in my heart is you
i love you

yesterday wasn't a good day for me
woke up at 10am plus today
brush teeth
eat breakfast
then went back to slep again haha
then woke up at 2pm plus
went out to have lunch
then went out to alot of place
then reach home around 12am plus
quite tiring la
haiz haven't do homework la
the whole night of yesterday
i thought about it
the happy moments in the past
i finali got the answer
but i dunno am i doing the right thing
i only know that i love you no matter what la
why are we strangers
when our love is strong right??
i just can't forget you
i felt very sad for her also
but i cant drag it anymore
it will hurt her more
as what you said...
cant run away from reality
why no one knows what im feeling??
i wont repeat the past i promise
you can think as long as you want
but i will never break your heart again
im sorry

yo my first post haha
very tired today la
cause of yesterday training la
went to school with amanda and qianru
qianru's dad fetch us to school
thanks
i was sleeping in the car la haha
then reach school liao
play ball lo
but i got no mood to play la
chinese lesson...
haha we have spelling lol
i feel like im in primary school la
wa liao mr ng very smart la
know our cheating ways
haha gwen sat on my right side
and tanya sat on my left side
then we plan to copy each other la
i copy on a paper and put it in my pencil case
haha gwen got kana caught for cheating before la
she wrote on her leg la
then kana caught haha
wa liao we sat at the back la
then this mr ng very smart la
don't stand infront of the class
stand behind la
and somemore behind us la
haiz...
cannot cheat lo
confirm get 0 de la
i never learn my spelling la
haha i don't even know there is spelling la
i was like so shock when they said
today got spelling la
haiyer plan to cheat la
but too bad the teacher too smart
social studies...
alot of people said ms vino class is funny
but i think is boring la
all the so called as history lol
i slept in the class la
haha tanya slept too
english...
haha ate sweets
liling gave me la
liling so nice!
then msg in class lo
mr so called as ng also
haiz his eyes very small la
so he can't see i msg la
me and liling sat near the door right at the back
haha we closed the door la
so no teachers will see us msging la
pe...
lynn's chocolate very nice lo
omg tia fell down
so poor thing
confirm very pain one la
we ran 1 ROUND ONLY haha
cause usually ran 2 or 3 rounds la
down and up the hill lo
pc...
haha attire check lo
i never change to blouse la
and i never change back my school shoes la
i wore basketball shoes for the whole day
without any teacher catch me la
so lucky haha
then chemistry...
so boring la
funny sometimes too la
then break haha
went to toilet msg la
then this stupid tanya
want me to take a photo with her la
i don't like to take!
but she forced me ya
after school...
liling asked me go NUS to see someone la
but got self training
then self training is cancelled
cause only got 5 PATHETIC people go la
including me la haha
then went tiong with nithiya
chat alot of things ya
saw the clique la
idiot can i shouldn't have go tiong la
then lynn found me haha
lynn called swan la
haiyer gonna fight le
i accompany nithiya home la
i took mrt la
is like FINALLY
ya was very tired
then i went somewhere lol
reach home around 9.30pm la
haiyer wasn't a nice day la

my feelings for you is real fading
don't care about me anymore
cause im not anything to you
i wash my hands off you
everything i did in the past is because of you
but you just don't appreciate
i regretted
i don't wanna fall for you
don't make me do that please
cause you are too attractive
why??
why must you suffer??
i can't denied that i don't like you
cause i do like you
you are a special girl
don't make me hurt you
there is someone always standing beside you
and you never appreciate her
its not me
but anyway i won't betray my friend
don't let me see you again
don't sms me again
i said it once again
im not xinyi
i really wanna help you
because someone asked me to do so
but i...hiaz...
you made a lot of people suffered
just stop it
im starting to miss you
and i don't want
i have been imagining things
i dunno why
im stress this few days
this year i seems to have
a lot of problems to face
i really don't want
no one can make me happy like im use to
NO ONE
anyway aiai
i seriously really love you

JUDY (:
lynn here, yeah?

i was so scared of you today man,
you seemed really dao,
and you broke my heart okay,
i tried to cheer you up with this joke,
and you were pretending to laugh,
girl, pls cheer up man,
i dont wanna see you in this state,
first, it was me in the morning,
then now, you?

sigh, judy pls cheer up alright?
whatever it is,
i'm here,
bt since you dont wanna let me know,
go tell someone,
you might feel better if you do that,
im nt a good mei,
seriously.

im nt a good one,
i dont know how to cheer up up when ure feeling down,
sigh,
you know smth?
i almost broke down in front of you in the morning when u asked if i was okay,
yeah bt i held back my tears,
u already have your own probs,
dont worry bout me,
pls judy,
be ur own self again,
cause its been ages since i see you laugh like you mean it alr,
ice cream soon again,
and you've to eat with me okay,
cannot let me eat by my own again, heh.

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ppl.

judy im so pissed.
my mother say t me :
computer computer all day, cannot take yr attitude anymore.
KNN. TMDCCB!!

walau.
sch reopen no computer alr right ppl!
so we shld enjoy when its hols.
not everyday is a day t enjoy.
my mum is stupid.
she doesnt understand.

okay nvm.
happy belated new year t all!
may 2006 be a good one, i hope :DD

study hard everyone.

tkcr.